This was written by a Dom Friend (author cited at end of post). This is what i’ll be looking for in a Dominant/Master Who’s collar i will accept in the future:
It’s easy for a Dom to make demands of a submissive, especially during the early negotiating. While submissives want to be given direction and purpose, the most important thing you will give them, is inspiration. Without that, they have no reason to give you power over them.
Here’s what you can expect from my leadership.
Accountability :
I will be there for you and while I’ll take charge; I will also take the responsibility of the outcome of those actions. Not just in a sexual context, but anytime I decide to make my will be known, I’ll accept the responsibility for the outcome and will always own any mistakes I make. I will discipline you for your mistakes, but I will not be above reproach either and will correct and grow from the mistakes I will make and learn from.
The benefit of my skills set :
Just as kinks, personalities and vanilla interest need to line up and spark chemistry between a Dom and sub for there to be a good dynamic to be had, each person has their own strengths and flaws, that need to work with each other’s. I will always be open and upfront about mine. My passion, intensity, sensuality and mental prowess will be my strongest skills that I’ll bring to a D/s relationship. I’m not an expert on rope, fire play, needles and many other kinks. I will let you know what I have experience with, what I enjoy doing and if there is something you enjoy and I’m comfortable with it but inexperienced at, I will seek out the knowledge in order to perform the task with the lowest amount of risk possible. I will always look to grow my skills as a Dom, but the biggest growth will always be of an emotional and mental capacity, more so than any kink I will master.
My dominance :
You will have my complete attention. I will learn and study you. Your likes, your nuanced behavior, not simply what you do, but rather why you do it. We will set out individual goals for you and collective goals for us. I will help you attain those and guide you when I can, when I can’t because I might simply not be equipped to help with a certain issue for various reasons, I will support you instead of guiding you and help you seek out someone who can help with the matter. I will not try to be your everything, I will be your leader and help you with anything I can.
My dominance will allow you to bask and grow in your submission. It will comfort and support you, while holding you accountable to me. It will not always be pleasurable and fun, but it will always be meaningful and filled with purpose. This is not frivolous and something that will be Confined to just our sexuality, this will be a journey, one where the power between us will be askew, but that will not make us unequals, rather the inequality in the exchange of power will allow our roles to align and serve one another needs in manner that will always make us equal in nature.
Whatever I demand from you will be given back in tenfold. You will honour me with your submission, but I wll make you feel honoured to have my dominance over you.
This is what you can expect from me and you will receive nothing less than that.
Written by Innermind